What effects would divorce and a bad father have on a child later in life?

The divorce would be pretty be average by today’s standards, but the father issue is the biggest issue. Say post divorce the father became disconnected with his kid(s) and pursued various relationships with younger women placing those and work before his family. What effect might this have on the child(ren) later in life say when they are 18+?

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10 Responses to What effects would divorce and a bad father have on a child later in life?

  1. No Real Help says:

    Too many variables.

    The attitude / mental / emotional strength of the kid

    What happened before the divorce

    What happened after the divorce

    What kind of influences there were (adult / family / peer)

  2. Jay R says:

    A bad relationship with the dominant figure in a family unit, i.e. a father, could result in difficulty establishing and maintaining relationships with others later in life

  3. starshine624 says:

    my big thing is failure/grades. im 16 and my parents divorced and i moved across the country 3 months later with my mom.

  4. Skye says:

    There’s absolutely no way of knowing. I’m sure there is a high likelihood that there will be loads of anger, rage, abandonment, deprivation and depression issues for the children. However, we have to take into account that people live their lives in perpetual confusion and uncertainty every single day and all events that take place will affect them. Culture and society and religion and the unique family and social set up will all have an effect and changes occur all the time.

    For example, who knows what their experiences at school will be like year after year? Doing well or badly at school has effects on self esteem. Will they be bullied and then bully others? Will they move houses a lot? Are they shy or aggressive? Will they have to deal with violence in the home or in the streets and thereafter become violent themselves? Will they have to deal with affluence or poverty? Changes in the family/ deaths/illness? You’ve also got to consider that their personalities differ and so they will deal with things in their unique way. The worst thing is that they might not feel they can talk about things because there’s no one there to actually listen or they just don’t know how.

    I can say one thing: they will most probably resent/hate both parents on different grounds and it takes a lot for us to let go of that anger and move on with the Present because that’s all you’re left with. But I don’t think we really get there. There will be a lot of blame.

    The end line is that no one will be able to say exactly what will happen. It’s as unpredictable as everything else in life. And the above-mentioned effects occur with people whose parents are (un)happily married as well.

    Each child will be a different result of the same situation because they will see it in their unique way and have different thoughts on it. I assure you it won’t be pretty, though. And these words which try to convey the experience don’t really convey it. I can only give you my perspective, and it may be radically different to what the children will actually feel or think now and when they are +18.

  5. John says:

    Well oddly enough they may grow to not respect the sanctity of marriage. I’d be less worried about the kids as they’ll eventually go on to there own lives and start worry about you. No matter which parent you are in that scenario. as long as there parent love them that aspect of there development will be okay

  6. wishnuwelltoo says:

    Probably commitment issues and trust issues. The child would feel abandoned by the father causing great pain, so they would tend to keep other people at a distance. They would make friends, but then dump them first so the friend couldn’t dump them like the father did. They would cut people loose so they wouldn’t feel the pain of abandonment caused by the father.

  7. Cambria says:

    from experience it all depends on the person .Each person has their own way of dealing with situations differently some positive while some negative. I would suggest some therapy (which is not a horrible thing or something negative it’s a quite healthy thing actually..i think everyone could benefit from once in their life) just so that the child and/or children have a place to vent and acquire coping skills with this major change in their life. After some parents get divorced the parents are still heavily involved in their child’s lives, others choose not to be a part of their lives again it again depends on the person that you’re dealing with and again if the parent decides to not be involved in the child’s life this would be a good thing for the child to be in therapy…a child psychologist more so.
    Hope this helps. And remember this divorce has nothing to do with the child it’s between the two spouses so the child shouldn’t really be used as an emotional outlet.

  8. Curious says:

    The effects of divorce, considered "average" by the author, is largely discounted as needing an answer. The effects of a "bad" father is what is being asked and bad is being defined as disconnection from his children and the pursuit of younger women, as well as his work, ahead of his family.

    What effects on the children would this disconnection have?
    The loss of any good of which he was willing and capable of bringing to them. That loss will affect, for the worse, their perception of themselves and their perception of others going forward, as their own personal relationships unfold.

  9. Nikki says:

    Alot bcuhs honestly i can relate to this you’ll honestly feel guility and unwanted.Guility because you’ll think its your fault and nwanted because he left and he doesnt wanna come back

  10. mark says:

    if the mother is strong her son may learn to love strong women and be disappointed with his own father. no problem except grief, not trivial but survivable. her daughter might just think all men are like her dad and get bitter. still it’s not as though people can be added and subtracted; they make their own decisions… a strong girl might well become a strong woman and if she sees some decent guys she might pick one for herself. these situations make philosophers of people with unpredictable results. try prayer, of course

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